Prapodivne v pohode som bola celý víkend. V sobotu na obed, ako pravil google, poctivé cestoviny, večer šampanské a jahody. Dokonca som si pustila motivačný bežecký film Chariots of Fire, ale zaspala som od únavy. A ráno nič. Žiadny stres, ranné sračky, tep 200-300. Vôbec nič. Len vianočka s medom.
Ani som sa nerozcvičila. Ani som sa neponaťahovala. Päť minút pred štartom som si ešte vypisovala s kamoškou, že kde som ja a kde je ona. Absolútne nechápem, kedy som sa stihla tak zrelaxovať, keďže som celý mesiac prežila v strachu a úzkosti, že odpadnem na 10.tom kilometri. Ale v nedeľu tri minúty pred štartom som vedela, že to dám. A tušila som, že ešte samú seba prekvapím.
Prvé kilometre som nevnímala. Nejaké tabuľky s číslami, nič to so mnou nerobilo. Žiadne “preboha to sú ešte len dva kilometre” ani tradičné “čo za chujovinu si si to zase vymyslela”. Bežalo sa mi neuveriteľne ľahko, musela som sa krotiť. Ako keď ste na dostihoch a džokej drží koníka na uzde, lebo keby ho pustil, nevykryje to do cieľa tak, ako by mal. Tak som sa držala aj ja, lebo som ešte nevedela, čo od seba môžem čakať neskôr. Aj tak som už išla rýchlejšie ako som chcela – 5:10 min/km, a mne sa stále zdalo, že sa plahočím.
Skoro som zhorela, trochu ma ofúklo, ale prevelice som si to celé užívala. Na 12.tom kilometri mi oťaželi nohy a trochu som sa poľakala, na 15. už to boli drevené polienka a asi som sa aj prestala usmievať. Ale keď som zavetrila centrum, videla svojich povzbudzovačov, a seba v cieli, pridala som. Zle mi došlo opäť na 18.tom, keď som zistila, koľkokrát sa musím ešte pootáčať, ale potom niekto začal kričať moje meno a ja ako psík na povel, nesmiem predsa nikoho sklamať. Dala som si jointový nápoj, ktorý mi zalepil ústa a prenádherne som si odšprintovala cieľovú rovinku. Jedna dievčinka sa priečila porážky a hecla sa so mnou, ale rýchlo pochopila, že nemá šancu. Ja som bola ako raketa! Dokonca som preklusala k občerstvovačke, lebo sa mi nechcelo chodiť!
Endorfíny. Ešte stále mám pocit, akoby som zachránila topiace sa šteniatka z jazera. A ja presne viem prečo. Bežala som len tak, bez žiadnych cieľov, časových limitov, horných hraníc, akejkoľvek formy súťaženia. A bolo to také oslobodzujúce! Ja som totiž súťaživý typ, prehru nesiem veľmi ťažko a moja ctižiadostivosť nepozná hranice. Mám ambičnú poruchu. Ale na tú hodinu a päťdesiatjeden minút som ju dokázala potlačiť.
Môj prvý polmaratón. Bol úžasný, ľahký, príjemný a radostný. Aj vďaka skvelým ľuďom, ktorí ma prišli povzbudiť, takú mobilitu som za celú svoju bežeckú kariéru nezažila. Ale aj vďaka mne. Že som si dovolila nebyť na seba taká prísna. Že som si uverila, že to dokážem. Bez tabuliek a bez limitov. Že som si dala šancu samú seba prekvapiť. Asi to začnem robiť častejšie. Veriť si.
Ďakujem ešte raz všetkým mojim za podporu. Tých 21 ste dali so mnou.
PS. Ani som nemala svalovicu.
I was chilled the whole weekend. Very strange. According to google I had fine pasta for lunch on Saturday and champagne with strawberries in the evening. I even started to watch motivational movie about running – Chariots of Fire, but I fell asleep from exhaustion. And in the morning – nothing. No stress, morning shitstorm, heartbeat 200-300. Absolutely nothing. Just Christmas case with honey.
I didn´t do any warm up session. I didn´t have any stretching. Five minutes before the start I was texting to my friend where am I and where is she. I wasn´t really getting why I was so relaxed, because I spent whole month in fear and anxiety, that I will die on 10th kilometer. But on Sunday, just three minutes before the start, I knew was gonna make it. And I had a feeling, that I would even surprise myself.
I was out of my mind first few kilometers. There were some labels with numbers, it did absolutely nothing to me. Any “oh my god, it´s only two kilometers” or traditional “what the fuck did you think up again”. I was running very lightly and easily, I had to restrain myself. It was like on horserace, when jockey has to rein the horse on short, because if he would release him, he would not be able to finish as good as he is expected. So I did rein myself on short too, because I had no idea, what to expect in later kilometers. Nevertheless I was running quite quickly – 5:10 min/km and I thought I´m going incredibly slowly.
The sun almost burnt me down, the wind blew me away a little bit, but instead of it all I enjoyed this run so much. On 12th kilometer my legs got a little bit heavier, so I got kind of scared and on 15th kilometer they became heavy wooden logs and I probably even stopped smiling for a while. But when I smelled the downtown and saw my cheerleaders, imagined myself in the finish line, I started to run even faster. I got sick again on 18th kilometer, when I saw how many turnarounds I have to do before the finish, but then somebody started to scream my name and I was like a dog on the command – I cannot disappoint anybody. I had an ion drink, which sticked up my mouth and I sprinted through the finish line like a boss. There was one girl, who didn´t want to be beaten so she tried to sprint with me, but she understood very quickly, that she has no chance. I was like a rocket! Even when I crossed the finish line, I was trotting to refreshments, because walking was to easy.
Endorphins. I still have a feeling like I have saved drowning puppies from the lake. And I know exactly why it is so. I was running just like that, with no goals, no time limits, no upper boundaries, any kind of competition. And it was so liberating! You know, I´m very competitive type, it is difficult for me to bear defeat and my ambitions have no limits. I have kind of ambition defect. But for this one hour and fifty one minutes I was able to push it away.
My first halfmarathon. It was amazing, easy, light, pleasant and joyful experience. All this thanks to incredible people, who came to support me, I haven´t experienced such a support since I started with running. But also thanks to me. That I allowed myself not to be so strict with myslelf. That I believed that I can make it. Without any charts or limits. That I gave myself a chance to surprise myself. I think I should do it more often. Trust in myself.
A big thanks goes to all of my dearest for support. Those 21 you ran with me.
